A couple months ago I struggled with pretty severe depression, the doctors linked it with a hypothyroid problem I have. Its pretty silly really because it runs in my family, but I'm the only one that ever got depression from it. I believe the doctors were wrong, my feelings were somewhat a mixture of being bullied as a little girl and feeling self hatred.
When a child doesn't have the opportunity to vent their feelings I believe it affects them when they're older. Thankfully for me I've left that stage behind :)
Exactly one month ago I wrote a "poem" about someone who had bullied me a LOT when I was younger. I seriously felt a load of relief when I finished writing it. I saved it just to remember how much I'd been able to overcome through the years... I'd love to share it with yall if you don't mind. Now before you go on reading it please note this was my form of venting! I don't usually write things like this jejeje, I think each individual has their own form of healing. This was mine...
When I look into your eyes I see hate. I see anger, shame and bitterness, when I look at your face I feel aging rage. What did I do to deserve such rejection?
Your heart oozes out the things I've always disliked, to make it worse your soul sings a cold heartless song. Your arms bleed scarlet poison, just like the beauty of a mornings sunrise is the ugliness your shadow carries.
When you walk into a room the aroma of your hateful words creates a stench unbearable to anyone. Your lips are dry like the deserts in Africa. Not even the sweetness of honey or sugar can calm the overwhelming taste you leave in my mouth when my eyes lay hold of you.
You have become the image of ugliness to me, I do not hate you. I only wish I never knew you...